Some Things Change; Some Don't

Have you ever noticed how you can tell when things change in a persons life?

If you are friends and you chat daily on Facebook or on the phone it's probably likely that you would notice when things change for them. If they don't talk to you for a few days or even weeks, you assume that they are busy or you were busy with your own things and you are glad to see them when they return. What happens when they gradually start pulling away. Do you even notice?

Honestly, I doubt you do. We are all so busy with our own lives and our own woes that we seldom even realize who is in our world from day to day. With a combination of our busy lives we tend to over look people more and more regularly. It isn't that we mean to. We simply just carry on with what we are doing and all of a sudden out of nowhere we realize there is a piece missing. Sometimes we dont even know how long that piece has been missing before we discover it.

We really have over loaded our lives with stress and pressure. We don't take the time to tell the ones we care about how much we really do care. Even more importantly we don't take the time we need to reach out and touch the lives of those that have held such a spot in ours. Part of this I would say is the growth of society and technology but honestly I think that this is so much simpler than that. I think we have all gotten selfish and lazy.

How many of you were raised with the values that you spend holidays and traditional celebrations with your family? Remember going to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving? All the family was there and all the cousins played together? Remember birthday parties for the kids and all the adults gathered and talked like they were still kids and the parties were still for them? How many still call their mother once a week? How many take the time to visit?

I have to say that I am as guilty as the next. I try to reach out to those I love and I try to stay connected but the truth is, I too get so wrapped up in my own life and my own affairs that I forget to make that effort. My mother crossed the veil when I was 21 so my children didn't have grandparents growing up. I had no one to call on mother's day and no one to visit for Thanksgiving or Yule. For many many years I have had just myself and my children. As the children got older, they spent special holidays with their in laws or extended family so I found myself working more and more.

Im sure that we all understand these situations even if they are not describing you. What happens though, when you have that disconnect with your spouse or your children. Can you live in a house with someone day in and day out and never connect? Can you go through the motions and never really have the feeling? What happens when you wake up and realize this is what you have been doing? Is there a way to re connect? Are you sure that you even want to?

What happens when you disconnect from your friends? When you stop making even the little effort you used to make? Do these friends reach out to you? Or do they let you fade into the back ground?

I think there are so many answers to all of these questions. I think that the answer for each and every person is as individual as they themselves are unique.

I think that we need to find time to connect with those we love. I think we need to find time to slow down and enjoy the connections before they are lost. I think we need to retrain ourselves to reach out regularly. You never know when you are going to be the ONLY one trying to reach out or how badly someone may need you to reach out for them.

We do not pay enough attention to each other these days. Now that everything is electronic, I can drop you an email or a text to let you know I care, but is that really personal enough? In some cases it is. But in some cases, you can see a whole lot less in a text or email than you could in person.

If you care you should make some time. Even just a little time. We do not realize who is shutting down or who is crying out if we are not paying attention to those around us. Take some time and reconnect with those you care about. Make an effort and stay connected.

I will too.