Momma Needs a Nap!

So the MP refused to nap today. We had a morning full of challenges. Everything was a battle. After laying in her bed for an hour playing and singing and kicking the wall I realized she was not going to go to sleep and let her get up. So far she is being quiet with her snack while watching Paw Patrol.

My house is in shambles and my OCD is in high distress alert! I have boxes stacked 8 ft high and you can not find the computer room at all. All of the furniture is taken apart and stored in the bedroom and the dining room. The living room has been taken over by boxes and the sofa is stacked 7 ft tall with blankets that will be used to wrap furniture and pillows that will be used to stuff the car top carrier.  I have one chair and one love seat that can be used as furniture and I am seriously battling high anxiety over this cluttered mess. I realize it is all for a good reason and that in 6 days we will be leaving to finally be reunited with my loving husband however I am having a very difficult time coping with this level of anxiety for the next six days!

We have abnormally cold temperatures and today are supposed to be getting 2-4 inches of snow. I know most of the country has had subzero temps and snow since December, but we had 65 degrees yesterday! This weather means MP is stuck inside and with the house in the shape it is in, there is nothing for her to do and no where for her to go! We are trying to find games to play and stories to read (that haven't been packed) to help keep her occupied. Doing a lot of singing and a little bit of dancing where we can find room for it. Needless to say with the combination of obstacles my motherhood technique is truly being tested!

Trying to gather some information and ideas for a small Imbolc celebration for the two of us. We can not do a full ritual or a large celebration due to everything being packed and we will be full blown in the middle of packing the moving truck on Imbolc. I am however going to take time out later in the evening for she and I to have a small little celebration since she is at the perfect age to begin to learn bits and pieces and I think that celebration of "new beginnings" and "Rebirth" are extremely appropriate considering what is going on in our lives right now! Talk about timing! I could not have planned it this way. That plan was definitely laid by someone higher than me!

Here is to hoping I can get her Rapunzel dress off of her and washed at least once between now and the 3rd or its going to be a really sticky, smelly ride to Arizona!

Love and light and thanks for stopping in!

So Many Changes

With everything that is going on here such as her Daddy leaving, her brother going to stay with his mother's grandparents (another story for another time), her uncle Mike moving out, MP has been under a lot of stress. The house is turned upside down with boxes as we are in the final stretch to getting our "move on". With so many changes happening in such a very short time, naturally our 3yr old is a bit clingy. Okay.... A LOT clingy! I do not feel like I am getting much accomplished and certainly NOT in a timely fashion due to the fact that every two minutes I have this beautiful, yet traumatized, little girl standing in front of me, arms raised up, demanding, "Ho me Momma! Ho me!" Of course, I always do. Even if it is just for a few minutes. Who could resist extra cuddles from such an adorable child?

Changes.... did I mention we have a zillion of them going on? Did I mention how FAST all of this has happened? Did I mention that in spite of how overwhelming this is for all of us and the fact that I am here to deal with all of it alone (because Hubby had to go in November to begin his new job) I am extremely excited about this and I KNOW that it is what is right for us? No? Well it is!

I have wanted to "go home" for a very long time now. I asked my husband before we were too involved in our brand new relationship if he would ever consider moving out west. We went there for a vacation and spent 2 weeks in Arizona and Utah. He loved it! He said he would indeed consider moving there. I sighed a huge sigh of relief and let our relationship progress. After another 6 months or so passed and we were pretty secure in our growing relationship, I mean we had a year under our belts now, I asked him again about moving and the reply I received was a blow I never expected.

"I said I would 'consider' it. But I am not moving anywhere until my children are grown"

His daughter was 8.

My heart sank. I was already in love with this man and could not imagine what it would be like to have to move on without him so I stayed. I stayed in a state I was not happy in. I stayed in a relationship that I could not imagine leaving. I resigned myself to staying in South Carolina, maybe forever. I knew I would not be going anywhere soon.

Fast forward 8 years... I started to talk about moving "home" again and my husband was receptive. His daughter was just finishing up her sophmore year in high school and her weekend visits were becoming less and less frequent since she had a social life and sports activities. We put the house on the market and he began looking for employment in Arizona. 6 months went by and NOTHING. House didnt sell. Even after several interviews Hubby just couldnt find a job. We took the house off the market for the "holiday season" and thought we would try again in the Spring.

By the time Spring rolled around we had gained temporary custody of our grandson and had to stay here until things were resolved and he could go back to live with his mother. We had him for 10 months.

In August (I am at this point working full time with an 18 month old and a 29mo old) I decided I needed a vacation. THIS is the part where the changes really begin to happen!

I asked my husband if we could go to the beach for a long weekend. I was exhausted, stressed out and it had been a very long time since we had gone on any type of vacation. Kids deplete the savings you know. My husband, being the worry wart that he is, constantly stresses over money. Even when there is an abundance of money, he is convinced that we do not have enough and can not afford to buy the necessities let alone take a vacation. He immediately began calculating the costs of driving to the beach, renting a room for 4 or 5 nights, the costs of food while we are there, and promptly decided that we would have no money for anything extra, it wouldnt be enjoyable and therefor, really was not feasible.

Here is where my calculating mind comes into play...

I asked him how much he thought it would cost to go to the beach for the long weekend and he stated that it would be almost $1000. This would not include the food, just the trip and the room. I immediately started calculating. For $600 or so, we could fly to Arizona. My whole family is there. We would not have to pay for a place to stay. Instead of a 4 day weekend, we could stay a week and have a proper vacation. KNOWING that my husband responds to saving money, I approached him with this idea and of course I made sure to sweeten it as much as I could. He agreed!

We planned the vacation for the end of September. As time grew closer, we discussed the difference in price between driving and flying. If we fly, we still have to rent a car. If we drive there is the cost of hotels on the way to and from. In the end, we found that there was not much of a price difference and driving would give us the opportunity to make this a TRUE vacation.

On the way to Arizona, we stopped to see a good friend in Texas. On the way home, we stopped to see two other friends, another in Texas and one in Louisiana. We couldnt have done that on a plane.

While we were in Arizona, my husband fell in love with the scenery and the weather. 90 degrees at 10am felt "chilly" in the shade to him. I think that was the clincher. He finally experienced the difference between the 80 degrees and 90% humidity and the 90 degrees with relatively NO humidity. The term 'dry heat' finally made sense to him. He decided to see if there were any job opportunities available since we were right there. I mean, what could it hurt right? Last time it took a year and we still werent getting anywhere, so put a few lines in the water and by Spring, maybe we will get a bite or two.

We stayed with my Aunt for a week. On our trip home (did I mention we stopped to see friends so it took us a few days?) he received a phone call about the job he had applied for only a few days earlier. By the time we made it home from vacation on Oct 1st, he had an interview scheduled. Over the next few weeks he went through a series of interviews and by the end of October he had a new job and was scheduled to begin on the first of December. I am thinking its October, he leaves in December, 2 months, Ive got this. NOT... it was the END of October and he had to be there before December 1st, less than a month... things are moving fast.

We spent the next month trying to get him set up with a place to stay and the things he would need until I could sell the house and follow him. Mercury went into retrograde and I refused to let him look for an apartment until it came out. I told him the decision to move was made before retrograde, that would be fine, but we were NOT making any major decisions until we came out. This is the FIRST time in our 10 year relationship that he decided to listen to me and NOT just do whatever he wanted. (Of course we are now at November 12 and just trying to find him an apartment.) Did I mention that Nov thru March is snowbird season in Arizona? It is proving to be extremely difficult to find an apartment due to all the seasonal residents that tend to flock to the heat through the winter. 3 days before he is supposed to leave, the recruiter that helped him get his job emailed him and offered him a room to rent. This was much cheaper than getting a studio apartment and also all inclusive so there were no extra fees for utilities or anything. The universe was smiling on us.

The house was put on the market on December 6th and our first showing was on December 12th. I had an offer on December 13th. Our house was sold! Now things are REALLY moving fast.

I worked full time through December with two toddlers and really did not get much accomplished at all. I had endless doctor appointments for the children through December and into January. Court appointment regarding the care and custody of my grandson the first week of January and a 3 bedroom house and wood working shop to pack up. We were set to close the end of January. This month has been crazy!

Here we sit in the 3rd week of January. I have a little over a week and a half left until I am leaving to join my husband in our new house. Looking back on this I am wondering how in the world I have managed to get this far, this fast. I know how. Good things come to good people. Like attracts like. Everything happens when it should. These are the mantras of my life. I honestly believe every one of them. When you keep a positive attitude and you live a positive life, positive energy surrounds you and good things are bound to happen. When you trust that things have a purpose and there is a plan, even if you are not fully aware of that plan, when you trust in it, it will all work out the way it should.

I knew we would be going home when the time was right and here we are. When I asked to go on vacation in August I honestly had no idea that we would be moving in January. I honestly had no idea that any of this would happen the way it did let alone so fast.

Of course, if you have stuck with me through this novel, you understand why our family is so stunned and unhappy about our move. It all happened very suddenly and seemingly came from no where. We know differently. We know that it was in the plans of the universe all along and we know that it happened now because the time was right.

With all of this you can see why, though it is overwhelming to have so much happen so fast, we are truly excited. You may also see why every time those little arms reach up and I hear that sweet voice demanding, "Ho me Momma! Ho me!" I stop whatever I am doing, pick up the child that is caught in the middle of this whirl wind of change, and hold her close to me while smothering her in kisses!

Beginning Anew

It would seem that everyone has a blog these days. I have been told many times that I should blog about the adventures of my little one or about the opinions that I so freely share. I have avoided this for so long because I am always afraid that I will not be able to blog regularly enough to keep the flow going.

I have decided to start this blog today for several reasons.

First, I think it is probably best to vent in a more controlled environment than just out there in social media land. Don't get me wrong, I have vented ALL OVER social media in the past and I am not judging those who vent there now. Your page is your page. Do what you want with it. I have just decided that there should be less of that on MY page.

I am on a journey to better my world by bettering myself and my immediate surroundings. If I keep my posts limited to bright and happy things then those who "troll" my page will get bright and happy messages. Those who want to know more about what is really going on in my life will discover my blog and come read when they are curious as to what adventures are going on in my world when they arrive. Well at least that is the plan.

Nothing ever goes according to plan. Like this move.

We are moving from South Carolina to Arizona. My husband and I are both very excited about this move and we believe that it is definitely what is best for our family. Of course, our family doesn't necessarily agree with that. We have 6 adult children between us and one daughter that is 3 yrs old. The 3yr old is the one we very commonly refer to as the Monster Princess or MP for short. MP is extremely excited about moving to a "big, new house" so she can see her Daddy. Daddy has been gone since November.

The adult children and the inlaws are the family that are not extremely thrilled with our choice to trek across country. Everyone has their own reasons to not like us being so far away, but these are their reasons and not ours.

As the days go on and I prattle on about much of nothing, I am hoping to be able to lighten your days, bring a twist of insight to things you may not have considered and shed a bit of light on some of the things that were shrouded in darkness of ignorance or misunderstanding. I am by NO MEANS an expert in any field. But I am knowledgeable about many things. I am not here to teach anyone anything from a scholarly point of view, but if you learn something from my day to day rants then I have completed the job I have set out to do.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for being curious enough to want to learn about me and the lifestyle I am trying to live, teach my family and cultivate in my own small corner of the world.  I promise, the blogs will be much more interesting as time goes on. Also please feel free to check out the blogs of my friends as they may also shed some insight onto some of the topics I discuss.