Self reflection is not selfish

Why is it that when we feel slighted or disturbed over a situation that we tend to become selfish? I say we because I have noticed that I do this also. We become self centered and forget that there are other problems bigger than ours. No matter how severe our problems seem to us, the ones we complain loudest about usually are not life threatening. Usually the ones we complain loudest about are things that we play our own role in but can not see the role we are playing for the misplaced emotions we let overtake us. Those who really have a right to gripe are those that smile and wish us well while never moaning of their issues or the unfairness of it all. We sometimes tend to judge others by a standard we hold for ourselves. The truth is we can not hold another to a standard we live by any more than we like them to hold us to a standard of their making. Why can we remember this when it's time to remind others yet can never seem to recall when it is ourselves passing the judgment? Why does a double standard seem to be so commonplace? I have made a more conscious effort to abstain from such judgment and although I struggle at times I am learning that no matter how I feel at this moment or my moment of hurt, there are so many others with issues that are much more severe than mine. It doesn't mean my issues aren't important it means that when handled with poise and grace rather than selfishness and pain, I have better clarity and focus which leads to a more positive outcome rather than the misery that comes with the negativity and the complaining.

There are people that have failing health. Critically failing. Terminally ill. Of course you don't feel well when you are running a temperature or have a virus, but the fact is, most times it is a common cold or virus that many others suffer as well and you probably will not die from it. We all want someone to take care of us when we don't feel well. We all want someone to take care of us. Instead of being angry that I am ill and no one is babying me or checking on me, I try to remind myself that I will survive this and that there are many many people with illnesses that they may not survive. Is this slight temperature something I should be so negative about? Or should I be grateful that it is only this and not something terminal? 

There are many people out there with relationship issues. Do the problems I have, the ones that seem so overwhelming to me, really outweigh those of another? Of course not. My problems seem like they are the most critical and the most severe because they are MINE. That is the selfishness I am addressing here. Just because I may have some issues that need to be resolved and they are important to me, does not mean that MY issues are the only ones with importance or the ones with the most priority in the grand scheme of things.

I think this world would be a much happier place and we would all be much happier people if we stop living in our sense of self and remember that there are so many others and that each and every one of them is suffering as well. Whether or not they share their suffering is their business. But don't fool yourself for a moment into believing that because someone laughs and smiles and acts as though they have not a care in the world that it isn't exactly that, an act. 

Everyone handles their issues in their own way. Some of us are whiners and complainers and some of us smile and go on as though nothing is wrong as they fall apart on the inside all the while. Don't fool yourself into believing that you are the only one aching or that your ache is any more severe than anyone else. 

How you choose to handle your aches and complaints is your business and it is not my place to judge. It is simply my personal opinion that if we all were a bit more compassionate to the misery of others and a lot less focused on our issues of self, this world would be a much happier place and a lot more people would have a lot less reason to complain so often.