Sometimes I feel like I am screaming my head off and no one is hearing me. Sometimes I feel like I am asking for help and no one is listening. Sometimes I feel like I can't scream or ask for help because nobody cares.
As a woman who is well on her journey, I am very well aware that life happens how it is meant to. I am also very well aware of the fact that everything happens as it should. There is a purpose to everything and though I may not be aware of that purpose, it does not mean there isn't one. I have spent many a day and night counseling others in such matters. I have listened to so many who needed an ear or who needed a shoulder. This is my calling and it is what I do. I love what I do. I love the opportunity to help someone through a rough spot or to help them find the first steps on the path of a life time. I find it extremely satisfying to think that I may have played even a tiny role in the happiness that others find in their lives. Sometimes though, I feel as though I am invisible.
Sometimes I feel that because it is my calling to lead others to peace and understanding in their lives that I can not ask for a little guidance of my own. Sometimes I feel like others think because I am there to help guide them and remind them of the greater plan that I never need any guidance or understanding of my own. It is a difficult position to be in and you can begin to feel burned out rather quickly sometimes.
It is not only a blessing but also a burden to be the one who helps so many others. The blessing I have stated above, with being even a small part in their growth and development. The burden is the part where people come to you repeatedly for their own guidance and support yet no one realizes when you need the same. It is almost like being a child in the fifth grade when you think your teachers know EVERYTHING!
I am human. I need support from time to time as well. Sometimes I need to fall apart and not hold it all together, Not for me and not for you. Sometimes I need someone else to hold me and let me fall apart only to tell me it will all work out and then help me pick up my pieces later. Sometimes I am quite capable of doing this on my own and other times I am not. I am human.
Sometimes I feel as though everyone is so caught up in their own problems and their own sorrows that they forget that others out there may be suffering as well. It seems (again) that if you are a healer in any way, you can not need any healing of your own.
I don't need everyone to flock to me now and ask me if I am alright or if I need to talk. By the time it gets to the point I feel that I am screaming and no one can hear me, it is beyond the point of compassion. By the time I get to the point that I want to crawl in a hole and never come out, I am beyond needing a shoulder or an ear.
Sometimes this is my own doing because I won't tell anyone when I need help or I feel that my issues are issues that can not be discussed. I am not perfect. I am human. But please, do me a favor and remember that while your issues are serious so are the issues of others. Remember that even though you feel like your situation is the most pressing, so does everyone else. And please, remember to have some compassion for others and take the time to care. Don't ask if you don't care, because we know. But if you do care, make some time no matter what is going on in your world to listen and to be there. You never know when you might be needed.
And to those that are always making the effort and always available, thank you deeply for being who you are. People like you are the people that matter the most to people in need. <3 <3
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