The Trying Times

Okay, I don't care who you are or what you believe ..... there comes a time in every person's life where you need to admit that knowing your herbs and their uses is a very good thing! Some people buy things just for the way they smell or taste, but knowing the functions of these things is definitely a plus some days. Take today for instance....

Living in Arizona has so many pluses and a few draw backs. The one drawback is that it is very dry so everything in it is very dry including your skin. Easy fix to that, you have lotion in every room of the house. You apply it to your body after showering, to your hands after washing them, or doing dishes, and several other times throughout the day as you feel you need to use it. Really, very easy fix.

Now, some people buy lotions purely for the smell or the lack of oily feel or the easy absorption... various reasons. I buy most lotions for the way they are absorbed, but I have been on this kick lately for buying lavender lotion. I love the way lavender smells and I love the soothing affect that it has. With a trying 3 yr old this is a wonderful quality to have subtly around the house at various times of the day every day. Trust me. You will understand by the time I am through here.

My daughter whom I lovingly refer to as the Monster Princess, or MP for short has recently turned 3yrs old. There is a reason that the 3rd year has been referred to by many psychologists and pediatricians not to mention parents alike as the 'Trying Threes'. This is a year where your child will 'try' everything! And a multitude of times. Including your patience! Today was really the first adventure in 'trying' more than just pushing boundaries for my husband and I with this child. Mind you, we have 6 other children but the one closest in age is already 18 and enrolled to begin college in the fall, so this is as good as never having been here before since it has been so long ago. There is definitely truth to the saying that your mind forgets that which was traumatic or truly horrible. This all being said, let me tell you what our last hour was like here in my home.

We had just finished eating our lunch outside on the patio. The weather was a beautiful 80 degrees with a nice breeze blowing. Really very comfortable and relaxing. I came into the house to use the bathroom.  In the 5 minutes of peace that I had to myself, I should have known that I would come out to a nightmare! I mean really, when do I EVER get to pee alone? I have a 3yr old after all.

My husband was out on the patio with our daughter, or so I thought. Silence was heavenly. I was SO WRONG! I should have listened to the warning bells going off in my head and hurried myself through my visit to the bathroom like any other time. As I am washing my hands and looking for the lotion it occurs to me at the same moment I hear my husband's voice asking my daughter, "What have you gotten into?" That the lotion was moved out of that bathroom because she kept getting into it. So I dried my hands and went out into the living room where I saw the dog and the cat both lying right against the wall as if they were waiting for me, so they could tell on someone. I smell lavender. I hear my husband still talking to our daughter, "Brooklynn," he says, "You really do know better than this." Of course the MP says nothing. As I come past the animals, I notice they are not just waiting for me to get out of the bathroom, they are 'hiding' from the 3yr old. I continue through the living room into the den and see my husband wiping of the MP's hands and she has a huge glop of lotion on her chin. Thinking to myself, "This explains why I smell lavender." The lightbulb comes on above my head at this moment.

The dog is COVERED in lotion. From the top of her head, down her back and all over her one side. She was definitely 'rubbed down' with lotion. The cat had lotion on her hind quarters, but I think only because she wouldn't stand still long enough for the MP to coat her as well. There is lotion on the carpet in the living room and there is lotion all over all the handles and doors to the china cabinet. My husband is diligently cleaning up the MP and keeps muttering things like, "I just can't believe you did this." "You know you aren't supposed to climb on things." "You could have fallen and really gotten hurt." While I am impressed with the patience he is showing it reminds me that it IS only lotion so how bad can it be right? I mean after all, I have the worst of it right here. He caught her in the act and cleaned her up first. Right?? I would have. RIGHT??

As I proceeded into the kitchen to get wipes to clean up the china cabinet (the animals were going to need baths, no doubt about that) and the carpet, I passed through the den where my husband is doing what I can only describe as turtle waxing the television screen. He had already cleaned up the top of the entertainment center (which is where the lotion from the bathroom had been put) and was now cleaning up the television screen that our daughter had finger painted with half a bottle of purple lotion. The house smells fantastic by the way!

I proceed into the kitchen and see that the large 'economy' sized bottle that I just bought 2  days ago is more than a quarter gone. My microwave is covered in purple slime and the counter top looks as though someone frosted it like a cake. Thickly spread and smeared everywhere. The cabinets in front of the sink were slathered and my husband is saying that the couches and the tables in the den were coated as well. At this point, MP is beginning to realize that as my husband and I are quietly and calmly cleaning like mechanical versions of her parents, she should be worried.

"Sorry, Daddy." "I didn't mean to do it."  comes out of her little mouth.
"Oh, Im sure the only thing you didn't mean was to get caught," her Daddy calmly replied.

At this point Daddy and Mommy are standing side by side at the kitchen sink respectively cleaning off lotion bottles. Daddy the one from the living room and Mommy, the one from the kitchen.
MP hugs my leg and says, "Sorry, Mom". I looked down and said, "Brooklynn, you know you aren't supposed to climb on things and you KNOW you are not supposed to play in the lotion".

This is where my husband looks at me with a grin and says, "Well at least the TV is going to smell good for a long time". I laughed and said, "Yeah, so is the dog!"

Poor dog. She is still covered in greasy purple goop. She is just laying at my feet with that look on her face that says, "PLEASE MOM!! Just don't let her touch me any more!"

After my husband and I had calmly and rather efficiently cleaned up all the messes that we found, we tucked the Monster (not a Princess at that moment) in for her nap and plopped ourselves on the loveseat. Side by side both of us quietly laughing at this ordeal and commenting on how the good thing is...

"The good thing is," he said, "at least it smells good".
"The good thing is," I replied, "I know what lavender is for and have that all through the house instead of something like eucalyptus!" We both laughed at that and agreed that something that would invigorate her was NOT the best scent to have in the home of a 3yr old.

My husband looked over at the dog, who is still cowering beside me no matter where I go and said "Poor Anthrax. She just laid there and took it".  I agreed. "Poor Anthrax. She was trying to eat her lunch and the MP cornered her and slathered her down. The poor dog never even finished her food".

Now that everything is cleaned up and my husband and I made it through that ordeal calmly and comically, we are complimenting each other on how well we kept our cool and how funny this all really was. After all, it was only lotion. No one and no animals were hurt in the execution of this stunt. And last but not least, we proved to each other again, that even after 10 years, 7 children, and various grandchildren, we really do work together well when we need to. Once again we were reminded that we do come together in times of adversity and that we definitely compliment each other in trying times.

The trying times..... Sounds like a good title for a book. (Well, at least for this blog post!)

Why just get wet?

It seems to me that sometimes people just can not be true to themselves. Sometimes people talk the talk but they can not back it up. I have worked long and hard to repair myself. I know there is a lot of work left but I am after all, a work in progress. As I progress on my path of self reflection and personal growth, I am learning more about others than I ever thought or intended I would. It isnt that I am really 'trying' to learn about others but when you are learning about yourself, you can not help but learn about others as well.

I did not start out to be one of those people that spread blessings on everyone else and was always cheerful and happy. When I was a child, a person that was so happy and so generous was someone that put me on my guard instantly. I thought it was 'abnormal' for someone to be so peaceful and happy all the time and in my life, I suppose it was. What I have learned along the way is that it is only abnormal to those who do not look for the silver lining. It is only abnormal for those so filled with negativity that so much positive energy felt uncomfortable.

I have been learning to let go. An odd way of seeing things when what I want is to obtain something. I have learned that in order for the good things to come into your life, you have to be willing to let other things go in order to have room for those good things to come in to. I have also been learning that you can not just let anything go. You have to be sure that anything you are setting down and walking away from, has been properly diffused. After carrying all that negative energy around for so long, to just let it loose into the universe is like sending out time released capsules of bad juju. Seriously. You know how toxic that stuff was while you held it in, why in the world would you just toss it to the wind? Make sure that you examine everything that you are leaving behind and that you have neutralized it and grounded it before you let it go.

This takes a lot of work. You really have to go through all of your personal memories, good, bad, and otherwise. You need to examine and heal the wounds you have buried deep inside. This really is NO easy task. This is the part that is the most painful and time consuming. It is also the most necessary. A lot of people try to skip this step.

I have found that if you try to skip this step, you tend to be consumed by the rage that you suppress and you never do heal nor can you ever truly progress. It is more like walking in deep dark circles. Some people try to convince themselves they are changing and healing because the scenery changes as they move in orbit around the circle, but eventually if they are honest with themselves, they realize that they are circling back around and nothing is healing and nothing is changing. I walked that circle for way too many years!

Back to the point I suppose, you know you have finally begun to heal and let go when you see and sense the negativity in others. When you have let go of enough of your own, you are no longer drawn to it and begin to recognize it when it is near. You begin to be able to distinguish between the truly negative and the situationally negative. We are all human and we all have moments that get us down. We all lose our sight for a moment or two here or there. The important thing is not to take up residence there. Feel it. Examine it. Learn from it. Let it go.

I know that I am growing spiritually and can gauge that growth oddly enough by the blessings I receive and the blessings I bestow. Like that creepy lady from when I was a child. I find myself daily leaving blessings on and for my friends and for strangers. I also find myself receiving blessings. I like this, unlike when I was was a child. It is truly an honor now to receive the blessings of others. What a wonderful gift that really is! The perfect example is one from the other evening. I had been doing tarot readings and anyone who knows about tarot knows that it draws from your own personal energy stash. I had many people signing up left and right for tarot readings and I could not keep up. I had offered 10 and had at least 30 sign up. One of my patrons sent a message inquiring if it were alright to come back for a second reading as she had had one the month before.

Firstly, I thought to myself, how very kind and generous of her to understand that this is a gift I am giving by doing these for free. My second thought was, how considerate of her to realize that I am giving of myself in order to help others. I had already done my limit of 10 readings for that night, and then some. I sent her a message explaining that yes, it was alright for her to ask further guidance and that I was so grateful she asked. I also informed her that I had already done my readings for that evening but if she signed up and sent me an inbox message I would definitely honor her request within a day or two. To my surprise she replied by thanking me for all of my time and effort and then blessed me with the energy needed for the wonderful gift that I had been sharing. This woman instantly gave back to me a good portion of what I had already spent with just kind words. Funny how that works isnt it? Those kind words not only rejuvenated me, but left with me a sense of ease. After reading for this lady a few days later, I felt the need to repay the blessing she had bestowed on me and offered additional consultation on her reading and access to resources that she was unaware of.

Isn't it remarkable how one kind deed can cause a tidal wave of kindness? It is also with negativity. So if you are going to cause a storm, why not a rain storm? Why not let it pour love and compassion?  Why just get wet when you could actually be dancing in the rain?

Weathering the storm

Learning to dance in the rain. Or learning to let yourself experience the pain so you can heal. How many wounds do we have that are buried so deeply inside? That we have forced ourselves NOT to remember? That we have simply laid aside because they were to painful to deal with? As I live this life and walk this path, I learn new things every day. I think the biggest lessons are the ones I am still learning about who I am. The lessons about what made me who I am. Today while speaking with my closest friend of 30 years I had a revelation that I never expected.

I truly knew that there were many things that I have experienced and have had to face in order to grow and heal. I also realized that there were many issues that I set aside either because they were too painful to deal with, or they seemed inconsequential at the time. I am learning that EVERYTHING is consequential.

Things that I have shrugged off as, "Well that is just the way it was" or "It is over and I know what NOT to imitate" ... these things that I 'thought' I had let go of an moved on.. these are the things that are so deeply buried that the venom of the infection is still burning and eating away at me. This is still affecting my core being and my habits, my attitudes, and my behaviors. This is something that I have examined from other angles at various other times but for some reason, today it all jumped out at me.

I am not discounting the lessons I have already learned. Nor am I making these lessons the only lessons that have value. EVERY LESSON LEARNED HAS VALUE! However, upon self examination I further realized that I have come this far and done all of this completely on my own.

I have not had extensive hours of expensive therapy. I have had no one diagnose my 'traumas' or tell me what I needed to work on to become a better person. I have had no one person to turn to or to lean on to give me that comfort and encouragement I needed or sought to go through the steps necessary to address the wounds of my life or the pains of my past. I am not saying there were no people that cared or that there were no people that wanted to help. What I am saying is that I felt isolated. I felt judged. I felt unworthy and unloved and for those reasons, I withdrew. I closed myself off.

I have worked very hard to learn how to correct my mistakes. I have worked very hard to learn that loving and accepting myself was one of the first steps to finding love and acceptance from others. I have worked to forgive a lot of the wrongs done to me and to forgive myself for wrongs I have done. I am still working and learning how to let others in. I learned today that I still have open wounds. Although they have been buried so deeply that I can not even see them myself, they are there. They can not heal until they can be exposed to the air and be cleansed.

I am not the person I was 30 yrs ago. I am not the same person I was 5 years ago. I am not done learning. I am not done healing. All of that being said, I am NOT a bad person. Sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes my judgement is still skewed in certain situations. No matter how loudly or how often I say I dont care what people think of me, I learned today that is not true. I do care. I care very much.

Caring what people think of me, and changing who I am to impress others are NOT the same thing. I am still who I am. I still do what I think is right. I will not change who I am or what I believe to please others but it still hurts to realize that they do not like me for me. It still hurts to accept that no matter how much I try to heal me, I will never be good enough for some others. This is a deep rooted wound. One that is extensive enough that after all the years of self examination and retrospect, I had hidden it deeply enough that it hadnt even surfaced until this one afternoon while chatting with a friend.

I guess the point to all of this rambling about learning and healing and growing is very simply, we all have a tendency to fool ourselves into over looking the things that are the toughest to address. I have grown in so many ways. I have accepted and truly learned so many lessons. I have realized today that it is time to examine this wound thoroughly so that it may be cleansed and may begin to truly heal. No more slapping band aids on it. It is time to let it be exposed to the air with the occasional bump or painful rubbing against life so that it may truly heal and stop coming back again and again as a festering infection that causes more pain and fever. It is time to really clean it and let it go.

Maybe This IS My Path

As time goes by and I keep thinking "why did you even begin that blog? You never take or make the time to post or update it." I find something more important that I want to say. Of course I dont take the time to say it when I should and it loses its importance by the time I finally have time to sit down. 
Of course now we are done with the move. I am here 2000 miles from where I started and I am happy. I am about 95% unpacked and have hit a stand still. Need more bookshelves. Need more closet space. Need to figure out how in the world I acquired so much stuff!
The Monster Princess is loving the change. She loves her daily walks and our trips to the park. She is exploring and learning so much and so fast! We are adjusting to our new environment and our new schedule, but things have definitely slowed down. We are very happy.
Now that you have had the readers digest condensed version of how things are now, here is the real reason for the post.
I have been told a multitude of times in my life that my purpose was to bring peace and to bring unity. Of course, me being who I am... I have to find my own meaning to this. I am not going to believe the words of another over my own path. I have been walking this path for well over 30 yrs now and have finally come to a point, where I "thought" I knew who I was.  I say thought because over the last few days and even weeks, that has been changing. Last fall I accepted who I was and what my challenge was to be. The challenge I accepted was to enter the phase of my life bestowed upon me. I transitioned from Mother to Crone. Although I did not see myself as wise, I was told otherwise and told that this was the path I must walk. I must trust and believe in myself and share with others the wisdom they needed. 

HOW DO YOU WALK THIS PATH? REALLY.
I honestly don't know how to walk this path so I continued being me and have tried to be there for those who ask for help. I am learning what to say and when to say it or when NOT to say it. I am learning to be careful with my words and the way they are used. I say I am learning because I am human and it is not something you can do once and then always get it right. It is something that you need to continually work to achieve.

When discussing my move here to the desert with one a very good friend of mine, I had made the statement that me, being a water soul and longing for and loving the desert had totally confounded my husband. My answer was, maybe growing up here and not being around water taught me the value and how to appreciate water. That good friend made a statement that was more profound to me than she could ever know. It resonated deeply enough that days later, I can still feel the vibration of it. She said simply, "Or maybe you will bring water to the desert."

Thinking about this I am thinking about how things are changing all around me. How can one person change the world? Be yourself and have the right friends. Truly, that is the answer. 
 Who would have thought that I would be friends with some very influential people? I never did. Who would have thought that I would be the hub in some of the greatest connections? I never did. Who would have thought that so many things would change for so many people just because I was involve. I certainly NEVER did! I am not saying any of this to "pat my own back" or to promote my influence at all. Instead I am saying this a bit in surprise myself.
I have connected people of different walks just by being friends with both. I have put certain people in touch with others just by being me. 
I have become very good friends with a self proclaimed "Heretic Christian". He calls himself this because over the course of our friendship he has learned to be tolerant and understanding of a faith other than his own. He has learned that what makes you a good person is what you believe, but not in a religious sense. He has learned that "faith" is important, but that having said faith is more spiritual than religious. Over the course of our relationship he has begun to question the teachings of his own religion based solely on his own beliefs and what he beliefs to be just.
I have become very good friends with a woman whom I consider to be highly respected and well connected in the Pagan culture. I have looked up to her and respected her in an almost reverent nature. She is my mentor and I hope I can be as graceful and wise as she is. Imagine my surprise when she tells me that I am wise and that I am a blessing! 
My nature is to doubt myself and not take the credit that is given. But when I stand back and I am honest with myself and my spirit, I see that I am these things they are saying about me. I am that one that can connect two faiths that fear each other. I am that one that is trying to make a difference in the world, even if only just in my corner. 
Who knows, maybe by changing my corner, and each of the influential people I touch change what they call their corner, maybe this ONE person can make a difference. And maybe, just maybe.....
I will be the one to bring water to the desert!   

Momma Needs a Nap!

So the MP refused to nap today. We had a morning full of challenges. Everything was a battle. After laying in her bed for an hour playing and singing and kicking the wall I realized she was not going to go to sleep and let her get up. So far she is being quiet with her snack while watching Paw Patrol.

My house is in shambles and my OCD is in high distress alert! I have boxes stacked 8 ft high and you can not find the computer room at all. All of the furniture is taken apart and stored in the bedroom and the dining room. The living room has been taken over by boxes and the sofa is stacked 7 ft tall with blankets that will be used to wrap furniture and pillows that will be used to stuff the car top carrier.  I have one chair and one love seat that can be used as furniture and I am seriously battling high anxiety over this cluttered mess. I realize it is all for a good reason and that in 6 days we will be leaving to finally be reunited with my loving husband however I am having a very difficult time coping with this level of anxiety for the next six days!

We have abnormally cold temperatures and today are supposed to be getting 2-4 inches of snow. I know most of the country has had subzero temps and snow since December, but we had 65 degrees yesterday! This weather means MP is stuck inside and with the house in the shape it is in, there is nothing for her to do and no where for her to go! We are trying to find games to play and stories to read (that haven't been packed) to help keep her occupied. Doing a lot of singing and a little bit of dancing where we can find room for it. Needless to say with the combination of obstacles my motherhood technique is truly being tested!

Trying to gather some information and ideas for a small Imbolc celebration for the two of us. We can not do a full ritual or a large celebration due to everything being packed and we will be full blown in the middle of packing the moving truck on Imbolc. I am however going to take time out later in the evening for she and I to have a small little celebration since she is at the perfect age to begin to learn bits and pieces and I think that celebration of "new beginnings" and "Rebirth" are extremely appropriate considering what is going on in our lives right now! Talk about timing! I could not have planned it this way. That plan was definitely laid by someone higher than me!

Here is to hoping I can get her Rapunzel dress off of her and washed at least once between now and the 3rd or its going to be a really sticky, smelly ride to Arizona!

Love and light and thanks for stopping in!

So Many Changes

With everything that is going on here such as her Daddy leaving, her brother going to stay with his mother's grandparents (another story for another time), her uncle Mike moving out, MP has been under a lot of stress. The house is turned upside down with boxes as we are in the final stretch to getting our "move on". With so many changes happening in such a very short time, naturally our 3yr old is a bit clingy. Okay.... A LOT clingy! I do not feel like I am getting much accomplished and certainly NOT in a timely fashion due to the fact that every two minutes I have this beautiful, yet traumatized, little girl standing in front of me, arms raised up, demanding, "Ho me Momma! Ho me!" Of course, I always do. Even if it is just for a few minutes. Who could resist extra cuddles from such an adorable child?

Changes.... did I mention we have a zillion of them going on? Did I mention how FAST all of this has happened? Did I mention that in spite of how overwhelming this is for all of us and the fact that I am here to deal with all of it alone (because Hubby had to go in November to begin his new job) I am extremely excited about this and I KNOW that it is what is right for us? No? Well it is!

I have wanted to "go home" for a very long time now. I asked my husband before we were too involved in our brand new relationship if he would ever consider moving out west. We went there for a vacation and spent 2 weeks in Arizona and Utah. He loved it! He said he would indeed consider moving there. I sighed a huge sigh of relief and let our relationship progress. After another 6 months or so passed and we were pretty secure in our growing relationship, I mean we had a year under our belts now, I asked him again about moving and the reply I received was a blow I never expected.

"I said I would 'consider' it. But I am not moving anywhere until my children are grown"

His daughter was 8.

My heart sank. I was already in love with this man and could not imagine what it would be like to have to move on without him so I stayed. I stayed in a state I was not happy in. I stayed in a relationship that I could not imagine leaving. I resigned myself to staying in South Carolina, maybe forever. I knew I would not be going anywhere soon.

Fast forward 8 years... I started to talk about moving "home" again and my husband was receptive. His daughter was just finishing up her sophmore year in high school and her weekend visits were becoming less and less frequent since she had a social life and sports activities. We put the house on the market and he began looking for employment in Arizona. 6 months went by and NOTHING. House didnt sell. Even after several interviews Hubby just couldnt find a job. We took the house off the market for the "holiday season" and thought we would try again in the Spring.

By the time Spring rolled around we had gained temporary custody of our grandson and had to stay here until things were resolved and he could go back to live with his mother. We had him for 10 months.

In August (I am at this point working full time with an 18 month old and a 29mo old) I decided I needed a vacation. THIS is the part where the changes really begin to happen!

I asked my husband if we could go to the beach for a long weekend. I was exhausted, stressed out and it had been a very long time since we had gone on any type of vacation. Kids deplete the savings you know. My husband, being the worry wart that he is, constantly stresses over money. Even when there is an abundance of money, he is convinced that we do not have enough and can not afford to buy the necessities let alone take a vacation. He immediately began calculating the costs of driving to the beach, renting a room for 4 or 5 nights, the costs of food while we are there, and promptly decided that we would have no money for anything extra, it wouldnt be enjoyable and therefor, really was not feasible.

Here is where my calculating mind comes into play...

I asked him how much he thought it would cost to go to the beach for the long weekend and he stated that it would be almost $1000. This would not include the food, just the trip and the room. I immediately started calculating. For $600 or so, we could fly to Arizona. My whole family is there. We would not have to pay for a place to stay. Instead of a 4 day weekend, we could stay a week and have a proper vacation. KNOWING that my husband responds to saving money, I approached him with this idea and of course I made sure to sweeten it as much as I could. He agreed!

We planned the vacation for the end of September. As time grew closer, we discussed the difference in price between driving and flying. If we fly, we still have to rent a car. If we drive there is the cost of hotels on the way to and from. In the end, we found that there was not much of a price difference and driving would give us the opportunity to make this a TRUE vacation.

On the way to Arizona, we stopped to see a good friend in Texas. On the way home, we stopped to see two other friends, another in Texas and one in Louisiana. We couldnt have done that on a plane.

While we were in Arizona, my husband fell in love with the scenery and the weather. 90 degrees at 10am felt "chilly" in the shade to him. I think that was the clincher. He finally experienced the difference between the 80 degrees and 90% humidity and the 90 degrees with relatively NO humidity. The term 'dry heat' finally made sense to him. He decided to see if there were any job opportunities available since we were right there. I mean, what could it hurt right? Last time it took a year and we still werent getting anywhere, so put a few lines in the water and by Spring, maybe we will get a bite or two.

We stayed with my Aunt for a week. On our trip home (did I mention we stopped to see friends so it took us a few days?) he received a phone call about the job he had applied for only a few days earlier. By the time we made it home from vacation on Oct 1st, he had an interview scheduled. Over the next few weeks he went through a series of interviews and by the end of October he had a new job and was scheduled to begin on the first of December. I am thinking its October, he leaves in December, 2 months, Ive got this. NOT... it was the END of October and he had to be there before December 1st, less than a month... things are moving fast.

We spent the next month trying to get him set up with a place to stay and the things he would need until I could sell the house and follow him. Mercury went into retrograde and I refused to let him look for an apartment until it came out. I told him the decision to move was made before retrograde, that would be fine, but we were NOT making any major decisions until we came out. This is the FIRST time in our 10 year relationship that he decided to listen to me and NOT just do whatever he wanted. (Of course we are now at November 12 and just trying to find him an apartment.) Did I mention that Nov thru March is snowbird season in Arizona? It is proving to be extremely difficult to find an apartment due to all the seasonal residents that tend to flock to the heat through the winter. 3 days before he is supposed to leave, the recruiter that helped him get his job emailed him and offered him a room to rent. This was much cheaper than getting a studio apartment and also all inclusive so there were no extra fees for utilities or anything. The universe was smiling on us.

The house was put on the market on December 6th and our first showing was on December 12th. I had an offer on December 13th. Our house was sold! Now things are REALLY moving fast.

I worked full time through December with two toddlers and really did not get much accomplished at all. I had endless doctor appointments for the children through December and into January. Court appointment regarding the care and custody of my grandson the first week of January and a 3 bedroom house and wood working shop to pack up. We were set to close the end of January. This month has been crazy!

Here we sit in the 3rd week of January. I have a little over a week and a half left until I am leaving to join my husband in our new house. Looking back on this I am wondering how in the world I have managed to get this far, this fast. I know how. Good things come to good people. Like attracts like. Everything happens when it should. These are the mantras of my life. I honestly believe every one of them. When you keep a positive attitude and you live a positive life, positive energy surrounds you and good things are bound to happen. When you trust that things have a purpose and there is a plan, even if you are not fully aware of that plan, when you trust in it, it will all work out the way it should.

I knew we would be going home when the time was right and here we are. When I asked to go on vacation in August I honestly had no idea that we would be moving in January. I honestly had no idea that any of this would happen the way it did let alone so fast.

Of course, if you have stuck with me through this novel, you understand why our family is so stunned and unhappy about our move. It all happened very suddenly and seemingly came from no where. We know differently. We know that it was in the plans of the universe all along and we know that it happened now because the time was right.

With all of this you can see why, though it is overwhelming to have so much happen so fast, we are truly excited. You may also see why every time those little arms reach up and I hear that sweet voice demanding, "Ho me Momma! Ho me!" I stop whatever I am doing, pick up the child that is caught in the middle of this whirl wind of change, and hold her close to me while smothering her in kisses!

Beginning Anew

It would seem that everyone has a blog these days. I have been told many times that I should blog about the adventures of my little one or about the opinions that I so freely share. I have avoided this for so long because I am always afraid that I will not be able to blog regularly enough to keep the flow going.

I have decided to start this blog today for several reasons.

First, I think it is probably best to vent in a more controlled environment than just out there in social media land. Don't get me wrong, I have vented ALL OVER social media in the past and I am not judging those who vent there now. Your page is your page. Do what you want with it. I have just decided that there should be less of that on MY page.

I am on a journey to better my world by bettering myself and my immediate surroundings. If I keep my posts limited to bright and happy things then those who "troll" my page will get bright and happy messages. Those who want to know more about what is really going on in my life will discover my blog and come read when they are curious as to what adventures are going on in my world when they arrive. Well at least that is the plan.

Nothing ever goes according to plan. Like this move.

We are moving from South Carolina to Arizona. My husband and I are both very excited about this move and we believe that it is definitely what is best for our family. Of course, our family doesn't necessarily agree with that. We have 6 adult children between us and one daughter that is 3 yrs old. The 3yr old is the one we very commonly refer to as the Monster Princess or MP for short. MP is extremely excited about moving to a "big, new house" so she can see her Daddy. Daddy has been gone since November.

The adult children and the inlaws are the family that are not extremely thrilled with our choice to trek across country. Everyone has their own reasons to not like us being so far away, but these are their reasons and not ours.

As the days go on and I prattle on about much of nothing, I am hoping to be able to lighten your days, bring a twist of insight to things you may not have considered and shed a bit of light on some of the things that were shrouded in darkness of ignorance or misunderstanding. I am by NO MEANS an expert in any field. But I am knowledgeable about many things. I am not here to teach anyone anything from a scholarly point of view, but if you learn something from my day to day rants then I have completed the job I have set out to do.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for being curious enough to want to learn about me and the lifestyle I am trying to live, teach my family and cultivate in my own small corner of the world.  I promise, the blogs will be much more interesting as time goes on. Also please feel free to check out the blogs of my friends as they may also shed some insight onto some of the topics I discuss.