Living in Arizona has so many pluses and a few draw backs. The one drawback is that it is very dry so everything in it is very dry including your skin. Easy fix to that, you have lotion in every room of the house. You apply it to your body after showering, to your hands after washing them, or doing dishes, and several other times throughout the day as you feel you need to use it. Really, very easy fix.
Now, some people buy lotions purely for the smell or the lack of oily feel or the easy absorption... various reasons. I buy most lotions for the way they are absorbed, but I have been on this kick lately for buying lavender lotion. I love the way lavender smells and I love the soothing affect that it has. With a trying 3 yr old this is a wonderful quality to have subtly around the house at various times of the day every day. Trust me. You will understand by the time I am through here.
My daughter whom I lovingly refer to as the Monster Princess, or MP for short has recently turned 3yrs old. There is a reason that the 3rd year has been referred to by many psychologists and pediatricians not to mention parents alike as the 'Trying Threes'. This is a year where your child will 'try' everything! And a multitude of times. Including your patience! Today was really the first adventure in 'trying' more than just pushing boundaries for my husband and I with this child. Mind you, we have 6 other children but the one closest in age is already 18 and enrolled to begin college in the fall, so this is as good as never having been here before since it has been so long ago. There is definitely truth to the saying that your mind forgets that which was traumatic or truly horrible. This all being said, let me tell you what our last hour was like here in my home.
We had just finished eating our lunch outside on the patio. The weather was a beautiful 80 degrees with a nice breeze blowing. Really very comfortable and relaxing. I came into the house to use the bathroom. In the 5 minutes of peace that I had to myself, I should have known that I would come out to a nightmare! I mean really, when do I EVER get to pee alone? I have a 3yr old after all.
My husband was out on the patio with our daughter, or so I thought. Silence was heavenly. I was SO WRONG! I should have listened to the warning bells going off in my head and hurried myself through my visit to the bathroom like any other time. As I am washing my hands and looking for the lotion it occurs to me at the same moment I hear my husband's voice asking my daughter, "What have you gotten into?" That the lotion was moved out of that bathroom because she kept getting into it. So I dried my hands and went out into the living room where I saw the dog and the cat both lying right against the wall as if they were waiting for me, so they could tell on someone. I smell lavender. I hear my husband still talking to our daughter, "Brooklynn," he says, "You really do know better than this." Of course the MP says nothing. As I come past the animals, I notice they are not just waiting for me to get out of the bathroom, they are 'hiding' from the 3yr old. I continue through the living room into the den and see my husband wiping of the MP's hands and she has a huge glop of lotion on her chin. Thinking to myself, "This explains why I smell lavender." The lightbulb comes on above my head at this moment.
The dog is COVERED in lotion. From the top of her head, down her back and all over her one side. She was definitely 'rubbed down' with lotion. The cat had lotion on her hind quarters, but I think only because she wouldn't stand still long enough for the MP to coat her as well. There is lotion on the carpet in the living room and there is lotion all over all the handles and doors to the china cabinet. My husband is diligently cleaning up the MP and keeps muttering things like, "I just can't believe you did this." "You know you aren't supposed to climb on things." "You could have fallen and really gotten hurt." While I am impressed with the patience he is showing it reminds me that it IS only lotion so how bad can it be right? I mean after all, I have the worst of it right here. He caught her in the act and cleaned her up first. Right?? I would have. RIGHT??
As I proceeded into the kitchen to get wipes to clean up the china cabinet (the animals were going to need baths, no doubt about that) and the carpet, I passed through the den where my husband is doing what I can only describe as turtle waxing the television screen. He had already cleaned up the top of the entertainment center (which is where the lotion from the bathroom had been put) and was now cleaning up the television screen that our daughter had finger painted with half a bottle of purple lotion. The house smells fantastic by the way!
I proceed into the kitchen and see that the large 'economy' sized bottle that I just bought 2 days ago is more than a quarter gone. My microwave is covered in purple slime and the counter top looks as though someone frosted it like a cake. Thickly spread and smeared everywhere. The cabinets in front of the sink were slathered and my husband is saying that the couches and the tables in the den were coated as well. At this point, MP is beginning to realize that as my husband and I are quietly and calmly cleaning like mechanical versions of her parents, she should be worried.
"Sorry, Daddy." "I didn't mean to do it." comes out of her little mouth.
"Oh, Im sure the only thing you didn't mean was to get caught," her Daddy calmly replied.
At this point Daddy and Mommy are standing side by side at the kitchen sink respectively cleaning off lotion bottles. Daddy the one from the living room and Mommy, the one from the kitchen.
MP hugs my leg and says, "Sorry, Mom". I looked down and said, "Brooklynn, you know you aren't supposed to climb on things and you KNOW you are not supposed to play in the lotion".
This is where my husband looks at me with a grin and says, "Well at least the TV is going to smell good for a long time". I laughed and said, "Yeah, so is the dog!"
Poor dog. She is still covered in greasy purple goop. She is just laying at my feet with that look on her face that says, "PLEASE MOM!! Just don't let her touch me any more!"
After my husband and I had calmly and rather efficiently cleaned up all the messes that we found, we tucked the Monster (not a Princess at that moment) in for her nap and plopped ourselves on the loveseat. Side by side both of us quietly laughing at this ordeal and commenting on how the good thing is...
"The good thing is," he said, "at least it smells good".
"The good thing is," I replied, "I know what lavender is for and have that all through the house instead of something like eucalyptus!" We both laughed at that and agreed that something that would invigorate her was NOT the best scent to have in the home of a 3yr old.
My husband looked over at the dog, who is still cowering beside me no matter where I go and said "Poor Anthrax. She just laid there and took it". I agreed. "Poor Anthrax. She was trying to eat her lunch and the MP cornered her and slathered her down. The poor dog never even finished her food".
Now that everything is cleaned up and my husband and I made it through that ordeal calmly and comically, we are complimenting each other on how well we kept our cool and how funny this all really was. After all, it was only lotion. No one and no animals were hurt in the execution of this stunt. And last but not least, we proved to each other again, that even after 10 years, 7 children, and various grandchildren, we really do work together well when we need to. Once again we were reminded that we do come together in times of adversity and that we definitely compliment each other in trying times.
The trying times..... Sounds like a good title for a book. (Well, at least for this blog post!)
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