Why just get wet?

It seems to me that sometimes people just can not be true to themselves. Sometimes people talk the talk but they can not back it up. I have worked long and hard to repair myself. I know there is a lot of work left but I am after all, a work in progress. As I progress on my path of self reflection and personal growth, I am learning more about others than I ever thought or intended I would. It isnt that I am really 'trying' to learn about others but when you are learning about yourself, you can not help but learn about others as well.

I did not start out to be one of those people that spread blessings on everyone else and was always cheerful and happy. When I was a child, a person that was so happy and so generous was someone that put me on my guard instantly. I thought it was 'abnormal' for someone to be so peaceful and happy all the time and in my life, I suppose it was. What I have learned along the way is that it is only abnormal to those who do not look for the silver lining. It is only abnormal for those so filled with negativity that so much positive energy felt uncomfortable.

I have been learning to let go. An odd way of seeing things when what I want is to obtain something. I have learned that in order for the good things to come into your life, you have to be willing to let other things go in order to have room for those good things to come in to. I have also been learning that you can not just let anything go. You have to be sure that anything you are setting down and walking away from, has been properly diffused. After carrying all that negative energy around for so long, to just let it loose into the universe is like sending out time released capsules of bad juju. Seriously. You know how toxic that stuff was while you held it in, why in the world would you just toss it to the wind? Make sure that you examine everything that you are leaving behind and that you have neutralized it and grounded it before you let it go.

This takes a lot of work. You really have to go through all of your personal memories, good, bad, and otherwise. You need to examine and heal the wounds you have buried deep inside. This really is NO easy task. This is the part that is the most painful and time consuming. It is also the most necessary. A lot of people try to skip this step.

I have found that if you try to skip this step, you tend to be consumed by the rage that you suppress and you never do heal nor can you ever truly progress. It is more like walking in deep dark circles. Some people try to convince themselves they are changing and healing because the scenery changes as they move in orbit around the circle, but eventually if they are honest with themselves, they realize that they are circling back around and nothing is healing and nothing is changing. I walked that circle for way too many years!

Back to the point I suppose, you know you have finally begun to heal and let go when you see and sense the negativity in others. When you have let go of enough of your own, you are no longer drawn to it and begin to recognize it when it is near. You begin to be able to distinguish between the truly negative and the situationally negative. We are all human and we all have moments that get us down. We all lose our sight for a moment or two here or there. The important thing is not to take up residence there. Feel it. Examine it. Learn from it. Let it go.

I know that I am growing spiritually and can gauge that growth oddly enough by the blessings I receive and the blessings I bestow. Like that creepy lady from when I was a child. I find myself daily leaving blessings on and for my friends and for strangers. I also find myself receiving blessings. I like this, unlike when I was was a child. It is truly an honor now to receive the blessings of others. What a wonderful gift that really is! The perfect example is one from the other evening. I had been doing tarot readings and anyone who knows about tarot knows that it draws from your own personal energy stash. I had many people signing up left and right for tarot readings and I could not keep up. I had offered 10 and had at least 30 sign up. One of my patrons sent a message inquiring if it were alright to come back for a second reading as she had had one the month before.

Firstly, I thought to myself, how very kind and generous of her to understand that this is a gift I am giving by doing these for free. My second thought was, how considerate of her to realize that I am giving of myself in order to help others. I had already done my limit of 10 readings for that night, and then some. I sent her a message explaining that yes, it was alright for her to ask further guidance and that I was so grateful she asked. I also informed her that I had already done my readings for that evening but if she signed up and sent me an inbox message I would definitely honor her request within a day or two. To my surprise she replied by thanking me for all of my time and effort and then blessed me with the energy needed for the wonderful gift that I had been sharing. This woman instantly gave back to me a good portion of what I had already spent with just kind words. Funny how that works isnt it? Those kind words not only rejuvenated me, but left with me a sense of ease. After reading for this lady a few days later, I felt the need to repay the blessing she had bestowed on me and offered additional consultation on her reading and access to resources that she was unaware of.

Isn't it remarkable how one kind deed can cause a tidal wave of kindness? It is also with negativity. So if you are going to cause a storm, why not a rain storm? Why not let it pour love and compassion?  Why just get wet when you could actually be dancing in the rain?